4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
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