guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize