if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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