She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
