non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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