Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize