Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
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