If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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