how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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