Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I need moral support for this bender
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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