id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
My Sexting was not on an AP level
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
