She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I enjoy the company of your penis
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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