The beer is more important than you right now.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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