i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
