Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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