Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i now understand why vodka
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
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