apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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