He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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