ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
