there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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