i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
