return my video game
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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