giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
