windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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