Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
