no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
