whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize