Only a mothe r could love this liver
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
