he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
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I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
You may now shotgun with the bride
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
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Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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