If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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