i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
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Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
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I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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