You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
