I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Randomize
