I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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