I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
