Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
