therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize