I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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