that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
