i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
