She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
