I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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