mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
