apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
