Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
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