I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
