i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
