so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize