Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
You dont lie about slip and slides
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
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