By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
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