I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
