Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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