I cockslap morals
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
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