There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I wish i was in the wii world.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
