i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
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