I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
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Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
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Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
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