There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
