he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
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Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
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If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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