You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I need to sanitize my soul.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
