i think my mom watched the whole time
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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