Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
