Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
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