Who wears a wallet chain?!
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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