Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
