I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
