Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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