He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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