Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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