I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
