so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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