he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
